M.I.A Leaflet
Welcome to M.I.A
Your First Day on Campus
In less than three weeks, you’re going to be swinging open the doors to Marco Island Academy and for some of you, your first time in high school. At M.I.A, the entrance is the two doors under the awning of the building with a fountain out front. This is where you should go first as it will bring you to the main entrance where you can go to the gym, down the 100s or up the stairs to the second floor out of three. From there, you can just follow your class schedule.
Your Classes
Most classes at M.I.A require you to have a computer, if you don’t have a laptop already, the school will gladly provide you with one. This is a big responsibility because the temptation to veer off from your assignment may be tempting, but it separates the hard working from the hardly working. Most of the time after you get your assignments done, you can go on the computer and either work ahead in your other classes or doze off. Depending on whether or not you want homework that night.
Hungry Yet?
Lunch is one of the most important parts of the day. There are two lunches at M.I.A. There’s A lunch at 11:47 ending at 12:15, and B lunch starting at 1:17 and ending at 1:45. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. M.I.A. Has four blocks, this means that you take the same amount of classes as other schools with double the time. In lunch A, you go to the first two classes then lunch, in lunch B, you go to the first three classes then lunch.
Miscellaneous Advice
As a student at M.I.A. We have a lot of professional and important figures visit our school, so always make sure you are acting appropriately when they are around. You can work ahead in most of the classes, you should use this to your advantage because you can guarantee free time while still getting good grades. The hallways at M.I.A. Don’t have lockers, make sure you bring a bag with enough space to fit everything you need, most of the classes, you just need a laptop. It's just school, so just because you're in a new place don’t be nervous.
Part B
The response that I wrote for the leaflet was formed as such, with subtitles, a header, and multiple paragraphs. The style was made to be more casual since the students were the audience of the leaflet. I made sure to make it casual with combinations of common leaflet form and casual language, this is shown in me asking rhetorical questions like “Hungry Yet?” This emphasizes the casual conversation-like language influenced by the leaflet form. I continue this in my writing, when I wrote “It’s just school, so just because you’re in a new place don’t be nervous.” This could be seen as more of an emotional advice rather than professional advice about literal objectives or obstacles.
I chose to write in a linear format because that’s how the students will experience their days. Writing in the second person speaks directly to the reader of the leaflet saying “you,” often. Although I am speaking to the reader in casual conversational language, I still made sure to include worthy guidance and advice. I included this in writing, “At M.I.A, the entrance is the two doors under the awning of the building with a fountain out front.” Giving clear and concise advice was a good way to start out since not only is it the start of their first day, but it also sets the semi-professional tone for the rest of the leaflet.
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ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI believe that you had a clear expression of your thoughts with somewhat complex structures. I think that the majority of your sentences fit the topic very well but a few of them did not fit in. Such as when you said "down the 100s or up the stairs to the second floor out of three." There was a few minor errors in the structure of sentences but other then that there were very few errors. This had made your text really confusing and hard to read. I also think that you had a lot of basic and unnecessary information that was not needed. Such as telling the students where the front door is, as that is very self explanatory. I also think that you had used a very informal tone which had sounded somewhat appealing to the reader but had made the point of the text very confusing at times. The text is also organized correct as you had done this with how you had divided the subject into leaflet format. I believe that the task was achieved well because he had followed the prompt efficiently. I also feel like the audience of this was addressed as he had mentioned them multiple times. Overall I would give you 6 marks because this was very well written but could have been organized better.
For the second question I think that you had limited analysis of form, structure and language and think you had a clear analysis of the writers stylistic choices. Overall for this question I would give you 4 marks. Great Job!
To start off, I really like the way you formatted your leaflet. The headings are an eye catcher for sure and definitely suits the audience. I also feel that your paragraphs were correctly structured. You addressed the audience really well by using a second person perspective like you were supposed to do. The only thing I would work on is the content, making it intriguing for the audience, since this was being written towards either incoming freshman or transfer students, write it how you would want the advice to be given to you. Overall, a really good job i give you for AO2 a level 3 with 8 marks.
ReplyDeleteFor AO3, the first thing I noticed is that you barely wrote anything for your analysis, when you could have expressed yourself a lot more in depth. But on the other hand, I liked how you expressed your rhetorical questions like “Hungry Yet?” and you explained why you had done that within your analysis. I also noted how you express the type of format you used to write your leaflet, that will definitely give you extra points for the test. So overall, there are some things that could be easily fixed but for AO3 i give you level 3 with 6 marks, only because your word count was pretty low.
So your overall score was a 14/25.